Almost there

In my life I have started probably 50 things for every one that I finish. Maybe. Usually its the way I operate, once I can see how something is going to turn out, I let it sit. I’ve got endless pages of sketches, a stack of half-finished paintings, and more than a few table tops sitting in the shop.

I have two points to make in this regard. The first is that I used to think that I knew what the finished result of something was going to be. I no longer think that way. Having made it this far into the GIANT, I have seen major plot points change. The story itself changed noticably thoughout the process of writing it. I had thought, while just jotting ideas down, and sketching things in my notebook that I knew the whole story. I was wrong. So this leads me to wonder how different some of my uncompleted projects could be?

But don’t get me wrong. I haven’t learned anything from this. I’ve got maybe four hours worth of writing time needed to finish up the first draft to this thing. I’ve needed four hours for more than a week now. I’ve certainly sat in front of the computer to write, but I haven’t done much writing. I did watch Unforgiven. I thumbed through a few home design books. I even looked at cabinet hardware (upcoming kitchen renovation). And who knows what else to distract me.

I just never seem to like finishing things where I don’t have some externally imposed deadline. And this worries me. This first draft — there’s still some small holes. But eventually I have to tighten everything up. THEN, I have to go and proofread the whole stupid thing. And that sounds like zero fun. I wonder if I’ll even want to do it? Will I just give up? If I do, will I publish a 7/8 finished book? I would hope not, as that would be a poor reflection upon myself.